Home - B - Bicycle Jokes

What is a ghost-proof bicycle?
One with no spooks in it.

"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher.
"Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy."
"I'm freewheeling, sir."

Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off?
It was a vicious cycle.

My dog is a nuisance.
He chases everyone on a bicycle.
What can I do?
Take his bike away.

Romeo: Your cheeks are like petals.
Juliet: Really?
Romeo: Yes, bicycle pedals.

Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy?
A penny-farthing.

What did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?
Because it was two-tyred.

A little boy out riding his bicycle knocked down an old lady. She was a bit shaken, but got up, dusted herself off, then turned to the little boy and said,

'Don't you know how to ride a bike?'

'Yes,' he answered, 'but I don't know how to ring the bell yet'

Jack and Jill were riding a tandem up a hill, but making heavy weather of it. At the top, Jack said:

'I didn't think we'd make it!' Jill replied,

'Nor did I - what a good thing I kept the brakes on, or we'd have slid all the way back down!'

I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday.
Farcical?

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
The road.

Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks.

'Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!'