Home - B - Bear Jokes

What do baby witches play with?
Deady bears.

"It's cruel," said the papa bear to his family on seeing a car load of humans, "to keep them caged up like that."

What do Paddington Bear and Winnie the Pooh pack for their holidays?
The bear essentials.

Who's been eating my porridge?" squeaked Baby Bear.
"Who's been eating my porridge?" cried Mother Bear.
"Burp!" said Father Bear.

Why do bears wear fur coats?
They'd look silly in yellow raincoats.

If you were walking through the jungle and a bear was coming towards you, would you keep on walking or run back to camp?

I'd run back to camp.

With a bear behind?

What's white, furry, and smells of peppermint?
A polo bear.

Have you ever hunted bear?
No, but I've been fishing in my shorts.

How can you tell where a bear lives?
Look for his Den mark.

What have Rupert the Bear and Winnie the Pooh got in common?
Their middle names.

Two hunters were in a forest and came across some bear tracks.

'Right,' said one, 'You see where they go and I'll look to see where they come from.'