Home - B - Bank Jokes
Where do vampires keep their savings?
In blood banks.
Why was the robber bionic?
He was holding up a bank.
A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood.
Police are still hunting for the clots.
Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank, Alan?
Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it, sir.
"Dad," said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. "I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."
"OK, son," said his dad, "I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."
A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!"
"Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl.
"No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."
At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, "He got away, sir!"
The inspector was furious. "But I told you to put a man on all the exits!" he roared. "How could he have got away?"
"He left by one of the entrances, sir!"
When Fred was applying
for a credit card, the manager of the credit card company asked him if he had
much money in the bank. "I have," said Fred.
"How much?" asked the manager.
"I don't know exactly," said Fred, "I haven't shaken it lately."
Bank manager: I'm sorry, sir, you can't open an account with this sort of money.
They're wooden pieces!
Lumberjack: But I only want to open a shavings account.
What's the best way to increase the size of your bank balance? Look at it
through a magnifying glass.
Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more.
He lost his balance.
Why was the banker bored?
Because he lost interest in everything.
A man went in to the bank and asked to see the man who arranged the loans.
'I'm sorry, sir,' said a cashier, 'the loan arranger is out to lunch.'
'Can I speak to Tonto, then?' asked the man.
Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them?
Well, here's the elastic band.