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Home - B - Banana Jokes

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said,
"I wouldn't eat that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.

How do you catch King Kong?
Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nick: I don't know.
Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet.
Andy: Did she lose weight?
Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!

How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?
Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.

What's the easiest way to make a banana split?
Cut it in half.

Why did the banana go out with the prune?
Because he couldn't find a date.

What's yellow and sniffs?
A banana with a bad cold.

The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.

They're not going to grow bananas any longer.
Really?
Why not?
Because they're long enough already.

What do you do if you see a blue banana?
Try to cheer it up.

What's yellow and writes?
A ball-point banana.

What's yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A banana disguised as a cucumber.

Teacher: What is Ba + Na2?
Pupil: Banana.

What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz?
An electric banana.

Two men took a train ride to a big city, taking a bunch of bananas with them to eat on the journey. One man took a bite of his banana just as the train approached a tunnel.

'Have you tasted your banana yet?' he asked his friend, very frightened.

'No, I haven't,' replied the friend.

'Well, don't!' said the first man. 'I did, and went blind.'

What's yellow and always points to the north?
A magnetic banana.

Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm?
He kept throwing the bent bananas away.

How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana?
She left him out in the sun too long.

Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas?
They were empty.

Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?
Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.

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