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A wizard who's as bald as a bat
Spilt hair tonic over the mat
It's grown so much higher
He can't see the fire
And he thinks that it's smothered his cat.

First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair!
Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!

What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?
Sir!

Look at that bald man over there.
It's the first time I've seen a parting with ears.

America's oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasn't got a grey hair on her head.
How come?
She's completely bald.

What's your dad getting for Christmas?
Bald and fat.

Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness?
How about a few pounds of pig manure?
Will that cure my baldness?
No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you're bald.

Why do bald-headed men never use keys?
Because they've lost their locks.

A poor pharmacist once concocted a solution that put hair on a billiard ball, but it didn't make him rich.
Who would want to buy a billiard ball with hair on it?