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Father monster came home from the Monster Repair Company to find his son Fred in disgrace.
"He's been fighting again. It's those terrible Slime children down the road. They're such a bad influence on him. He learned all about punching and kicking from them."
"Yes," interrupted Fred, "but hitting them on the head with an axe was all my own idea !"

What did the tree say to the axe?
I'm stumped.

What happened when an axe fell on a car?
There was an axe-i-dent.

What is an axe?
A chop-stick.