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What happened to the entertainer who did a show for an audience of cannibals?
He went down really well.

Soprano at concert: And what would you like me to sing next?
Audience: Do you know Old Man River?
Soprano: Er, yes.
Audience: Well, go jump in it !

At my piano teacher's last performance the audience cheered and cheered.
The piano was locked !

What's the difference between a disappointed audience and a sick cow?
One boos madly and the other moos badly.

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