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Two Irishmen bought two horses at a sale in County Cork. Both the horses were similar in appearance, so Pat said to Murphy,
"How shall we tell which horse is whose?"
"I tell you what," said Murphy, "we'll bob the tail of one of them."
But by a mistake the tails of both horses were bobbed so they were still in the same predicament.
"I know the answer," said Pat. "You take the white one, and I'll take the black one!"

Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your wife improve her appearance?
Man: It did for a while - then it fell off !

Father: Jane, I've had a letter from your headmaster. It seems you've been neglecting your appearance.
Jane: Dad?
Father: He says you haven't appeared in school all week !